


wanna be apart

by bluedesert



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha!Hyuck, Alpha!Mark, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Recreational Drug Use, Smut, allusions to internalized homophobia, friends to strangers to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:47:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25232626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedesert/pseuds/bluedesert
Summary: Donghyuck thinks that Mark is a mess of contradictions— a best friend and a stranger, an alpha and a lover, a coincidence and a calculation. But somewhere in between those words Mark becomes, more than anything, safe.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 30
Kudos: 319





	wanna be apart

**Author's Note:**

> please be mindful of the tags!! title is from be apart by porches
> 
> [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5CxscrufMbI8cJ5lbEC7cC?si=vqq15EPaTj-NnXBrSIyTxQ)

“You totally got laid last night,” Jaemin says, the glitter in his hair catching on the blue lights of the party. 

“Yeah, Jeno slept over,” Donghyuck says behind his cup, eyes glued to Jaemin’s hair. 

Jaemin takes a drag of his weed pen and exhales. The smoke comes out slowly, curling out of his mouth and drifting into the air. “He’s so hot.”

“We’re not serious, you can go for it,” Donghyuck watches the trail of smoke disappear. It joins the already stuffy air of the room, filled with sweat, smoke, and pheromones.

“I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

“I’m for real, it’s no big deal.” 

Jaemin eyes him from around his bottle of beer, clearly disbelieving. Donghyuck shrugs, mind going to the night before. Jeno had come over and they had watched an 80s french movie. They fell asleep in the middle, which had been nice. Donghyuck is always down for a cuddle, and he was exhausted from the previous week of late nights and studying. Anyway, Omegas always smell great— clean and comforting. It was an easy scent to fall asleep to.

He pulls out his phone, unlocking it and then locking it again without reading his notifications. He stares at his dim reflection.Underneath the glitter on his cheeks he doesn’t look any different. It must be the smell that gave it away. Donghyuck still has the faint tinge of Omega pheromones on his skin, despite trying to scrub it off in the shower after delivering a shitty, half-asleep blowjob in the morning. 

He blinks at his reflection, pulling himself back into the present moment, the present party, Jaemin now chatting to another Alpha in their stats class named Yeri. He unlocks his phone, quickly responding to a text from Taeyong and ignoring one from Jeno. He feels bad— Jeno is so sweet— but he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want to take things further with him and is thinking about how to let him down easy.

A pair of arms wraps around his shoulders from behind. Donghyuck smiles and takes a deep breath, inhaling Taeil’s cologne and fresh Beta smell. 

“You made it,” Donghyuck says cheerfully. 

“Yeah, no thanks to you. I thought you were gonna pregame with us,” Taeil says, leaning his weight against Donghyuck.

“I didn’t wanna hang with losers like you,” Donghyuck says.

“Where was that attitude when you were in high school, huh? It was _cool_ to have older friends to buy you alcohol back then,” Taeil says, sliding into the seat next to Donghyuck. 

“Yeah, but now I can just use my fake ID,” Donghyuck shrugs, leaning his head into Taeil’s chest. He hums happily as Taeil begins to card through his hair, pressing his nose into Taeil’s shoulder. He feels a prickle on the back of his neck and opens his eyes to find a confused Yeri staring at him. It probably looks weird, an Alpha curled up next to a Beta like a little kid. He wonders if he should explain himself— he’s known Taeil since high school, before he even presented— but decides to run his hands up Taeil’s soft cardigan instead. 

Eventually Taeil disentangles himself from Donghyuck to go say hi to Wendy across the room so Donghyuck takes the opportunity to get another drink. The kitchen has a couple half-empty cases of beer on the table. Donghyuck throws out his empty bottle and reaches for another. 

“Hey man, can you pass me a drink?” a voice says from behind. 

“Sure,” Donghyuck says, turning around with two bottles in hand. 

“Donghyuck?” the purple haired guy now in front of him sputters out. 

“Mark Lee?” Donghyuck says, almost dropping the beers. 

“Hyuck! Holy fuck! How long has it been— like five years or something, right?” 

“I guess so,” Donghyuck says, staring in surprise at his old best friend. They had been close back in elementary and middle school. Then Mark had moved to Canada and their friendship simply hadn’t survived the distance. The Mark Lee in front of him doesn’t look anything like the small, goody-two-shoes with braces in Donghyuck’s memory. The ashy purple hair, the yellow windbreaker, the circular lenses, are all new. 

The most significant difference comes in the form of heavy Alpha pheromones seeping from Mark’s skin. He and Mark had only known each other before they presented. He hands Mark a Modelo, skin itchy, stomping down that innate feeling of danger that comes when meeting another Alpha. 

“Thanks. So you go to school here?” Mark asks, holding himself carefully casual under Donghyuck’s gaze.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says, leaning against the counter.

“So do I,” Mark says.

Donghyuck hums, allowing the conversation to pause while he takes a sip of his beer. Mark does the same, and they make awkward eye contact as they drink. 

Mark wipes at his mouth. “Dude, catch me up on your life. What do you study? How’s your family? How have you been?”

“I’m doing music theory. And they’re good. Kinda upset I’m so far from them, but you know how it is,” Donghyuck says. 

“Yeah, I gotcha. I’m studying physics,” Mark says.

“Nice. I always thought you’d end up doing something nerdy like that.”

“I’m sorry, but physics is _dope_. You just don’t get it.”

“Sure it is. I love stars and shit,” Donghyuck placates.

Mark laughs at that, nose scrunching up, hiding his face behind his hand. “You haven’t changed at all.”

Donghyuck shrugs and grins at Mark, who has shuffled closer to lean against the counter next to him. The move sends another wave of reminders through his brain— Mark is an Alpha now. He reaches out his bottle and hits the tip of his against Mark’s, then brings it back up to his lips for another sip. 

“I guess we have changed a little,” he says, staring at the liquid inside. 

Mark opens his mouth to speak, but Donghyuck never ends up hearing what he has to say. Jaemin sneaks up on his other side, pulling at his arm. 

“Hyuck, come to the bathroom with me,” Jaemin says, giving him a pointed look. Mark watches them, eyebrows raised. Donghyuck hesitates— finding Mark at some random party is too good a coincidence. But he’s also feeling kind of weird. Has been feeling weird all night, if he’s being honest, and a trip to the bathroom may just be what he needs to clear his mind. So he offers Mark an apologetic smile and trails after Jaemin. 

“Catch you later,” Mark says, still leaning against the counter and alone, surrounded by discarded glass bottles. 

The bathroom is kind of ugly. The showercurtains are an awful off-white, and the lights are too bright, which makes his sweaty skin shine in the mirror. The sound of the party seeps through the door slow and sticky, like honey. He blinks at his reflection as Jaemin takes out his keys and a small bottle from his bright fanny pack. 

“Who was that Alpha you were talking to?” he asks.

“Oh, just a guy I used to know,” Donghyuck says, turning away from the mirror. 

***

Donghyuck wakes up with his head feeling about twice the size of his body. He checks the time on his phone— two in the afternoon. He reaches blindly for his nightstand until he finds his cup of water, and chugs it all in one gulp. He tries to spend some time scrolling through his phone, but that makes him feel nauseous, so he just lays on his back and stares at the ceiling, feeling bad for himself. 

Eventually the one person pity party gets boring, so Donghyuck drags himself to the kitchen to make himself some toast. His roommates are out, which is good, because he doesn’t need their judgemental stares. After a few pieces of bread and another cup of water, his body feels slightly better, so he takes out his phone and checks his notifications. 

He sends Jaemin an ugly snapchat of himself, making sure his eye bags are fully visible, blaming him for their bad decisions. The night had passed away with him flailing to the music, jumping around more than he ever would at the gym, head rushing and thoughtless. He goes to his texts and frowns at the one Jeno had sent him last night. He puts his head onto the table, groaning, then forces himself to text back.

**Jeno**

_how's the party?_

_omg sorry i forgot to respond_

_the party was good_

_r u free for coffee sometime this week?_

_feel like we should talk_

For a moment he truly considers “accidentally” dropping the phone in the toilet, just to avoid Jeno’s response. But a voice that sounds uncannily like Jaemin tells him not to. 

Anyway, if he doesn’t have a working phone, he won’t be able to find Mark Lee on the internet. He still feels bad he had never found Mark after their conversation in the kitchen. So instead of actually talking to him, he does the next best thing. He finds Mark on instagram, thanks to some intelligent sleuthing, and clicks on his profile. He goes through each photo, careful not to like any of them, and watches Mark grow up in the years he had missed. Baby Mark loses his braces, his full cheeks. High school Mark posts videos of himself playing basketball, playing guitar. College Mark posts selfies in those stupidly cute glasses with his friends. 

Donghyck can’t help but smile at the photos, and catches himself grinning so hard that his cheeks hurt. He clears his throat and schools his face into a neutral expression, not that anyone is around to see him. He considers DMing Mark, asking for his number. But he wonders if it’ll come off weird, and after typing out different messages a few times and deleting them, he clicks follow. Now he’s back at square one— that is, wanting to throw his phone into the toilet. 

To make matters worse, Jeno sends back an enthusiastic text, letting him know that Tuesday afternoon works for coffee. Donghyuck sighs dramatically and throws his phone onto the table. If Jaemin were here, he would force Donghyuck to take a shower and eat an actual meal. So with Jaemin’s scary smile in mind, he drags himself to the bathroom and stands under the shower, which has terrible water pressure, and tries to remember what vegetables he has in the fridge. 

***

Donghyuck stares at Jeno’s backpack while Jeno gets their drinks. The coffee shop is crowded and loud. A pop song blares through the speakers, the many conversations taking place intermingling in the air, creating a full, cluttered sound. 

Jeno slips back into the chair with a little huff, and hands Donghyuck his coffee. The noise of the shop fades into the background as Donghyuck analyzes the expression on Jeno’s face. He has his usual easy smile, eyes warm and inviting, but he hadn’t tried to kiss Donghyuck when they’d met. 

“Do you like cats?” Donghyuck blurts out, pointing at the cat pins decorating Jeno’s backpack. 

“Yeah, I actually have three,” Jeno says, puffing out his chest.

“That’s cool.”

Jeno doesn’t fill the ensuing silence, so he takes a sip of his coffee to stall the inevitable.

“So,” he starts, after enough awkward silence has passed, “the reason I wanted to talk to you today is, well, we’ve had a really good time. You are the nicest person I have ever met.”

He takes a deep breath and meets Jeno’s eyes again. Jeno is giving him a soft smile, which makes _no_ sense. Can’t he tell where this conversation is going? 

May as well rip the bandaid off. Donghyuck throws caution into the wind. 

“We should just be friends,” he says in a single breath. 

Jeno’s eyes stay crinkled into little half-moon crescents. “Okay.” 

“I’m really sorry and— wait what? Okay?” 

Jeno shrugs. “I mean, it makes sense. Maybe I didn’t see it at first, but it doesn’t seem like you’re that invested in this.” 

“I don’t want you to think I don’t care about you because I genuinely want to be friends—”

“I do too! I think you’re sweet too, and funny, and we never established anything serious. Honestly,” now, Jeno’s face falls for the first time, “even if people say Omegas and Alphas can’t be friends, I think we could really try.”

Donghyuck feels an overwhelming wave of relief pass through him and impulsively reaches over the table to give Jeno a hug. Now he doesn’t have to worry about the implications of hugging him— he can just enjoy Jeno’s soft Omega smell without it leading to anything else. He squeezes his eyes shut and breathes in deeply, then lets go. 

“I was really worried about this conversation,” he admits.

“Why?” Jeno asks. 

“You’re so perfect, I feel like everyone was telling me I was stupid for not wanting to be with you.” 

“Well, I’m glad you talked to me. Now we can start off fresh.” 

Donghyuck reaches out his hand. Jeno takes it in his own and they shake hands, grinning stupidly at each other. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Donghyuck, but you can just call me Hyuck.” 

“I’m charmed, Hyuck. My name is Jeno Lee.”

Donghyuck smiles, delighted, and goes back to his coffee feeling like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. One he didn’t even know he was carrying. 

***

Hands in his hair, hot breath against his mouth. Donghyuck has lost his friends and the people around him are strangers, faces unimportant, just bodies covered in glitter and leather and mesh. He allows himself to be swayed and kissed, feels hands grasp the back of his neck, slide down his chest, run back over his shoulders. In the thick air he can’t even tell who is what— Alpha, Beta, Omega— and it doesn’t really matter. 

He happens to turn around, happens to tilt his head to the side, happens to let his gaze wander over to the bar. And there sits his favorite coincidence. He stops dancing for a moment, feels the hands fall away, and the strangers around him fade away as he locks eyes with Mark, who reclines at the bar with a neon green drink in his hand. Mark’s eyes are wide, his hair brushed away from his face, and he wears a black mesh shirt and jeans. His drink is lifted halfway to his face, but his arm appears frozen. Donghyuck offers him a surprised tilt of his head, which Mark returns. 

Then someone slides into the seat next to Mark. It’s Jeno, looking good in a white tank top, skin shimmering. Donghyuck’s gaze follows Jeno’s arms as he wraps Mark up in a hug. He didn’t know Jeno and Mark were friends. Are they friends? He watches the Alpha and the Omega lean into each other from afar.

Someone pushes by him from the side and he loses sight of Mark, swallowed up by the crowd once more. The hands land on his body again, but this time they don’t feel pleasantly warm. Now, they burn his skin under his clothes and he shrugs them away. The pheromone-filled air claws at the back of his throat and he starts to edge towards the exit. Luckily, the people around him notice, and they help push him forward until he is safely deposited away from the dance floor. 

“Are you okay?” an Omega asks, their blue lipstick smudged. 

“Yeah, just gonna get some fresh air,” he responds. 

“Okay. Stay safe,” they say, and melt back into the crowd. 

Donghyuck heads out the backdoor, into the alleyway. There are people leaning against the walls, taking cigarette breaks and chatting. He skirts past the groups of friends and leans against the wall, taking grateful sips of air. He slides down the wall and sits on the floor, pulling out his phone to find multiple texts from Jaemin and Renjun asking about his whereabouts. 

Someone sits down next to him, and he turns to find Mark looking at him with a serious expression. 

“You good?” Mark asks.

“Just got a little overwhelmed back there, I guess,” Donghyuck says, studying Mark’s face intensely. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for between Mark’s eyebrows, under his eyelashes, on the side of his mouth. But he looks anyway. 

“Yeah, I get that. I don’t usually go onto the floor. It stresses me out.”

Donghyuck snorts. “Really?” He doesn’t know many Alphas who don’t like the attention of the dance floor, certainly not any with Mark’s brand of magnetism. Even Donghyuck can feel it, a constant pulling, suggesting ever so subtly to come closer, until Donghyuck finds himself pressed shoulder to shoulder with Mark without realizing it. 

It’s the very power that so many Alphas get drunk off of. That commanding presence, demanding that the audience keeps their eyes on you. Whereas Betas exude calm, and Omegas kindness, Alphas are powerfully magnetic. 

The truth is Donghyuck _likes_ feeling watched, likes holding power over roaming gazes. Even if he never plans on going home with anyone he hooks up with, he is happy to have a warm body pressed against his own and someone’s focus entirely on him. At least, under the music and moving lights, with the air filled with all different kinds of pheromones, with the appraising eyes on his mouth and neck and thighs, he can enjoy himself.

“I have fun, usually. It feels good,” he says, running a hand through his sweaty hair. Mark’s eyes follow the movement. He shakes his hair out, and it falls sticky and wet against his forehead. 

“That’s good,” Mark responds. 

“Yeah, good,” Donghyuck says. 

“Good,” Mark repeats, breaking out into a smile. 

“So, were you having fun?” 

“Sure. I think I may have poisoned myself though, ordering a stupid neon drink.” 

“The more neon the drink, the better!”

“Remind me to never accept a drink from you.” 

Donghyuck mock-gasps, places his hand over his heart. “You don’t trust me?” 

“With alcohol? Please.” 

“That’s valid. You don’t really know me,” Donghyuck refutes without thinking, then immediately regrets it. The mood around them floats back down from it’s giggling, teasing place as Mark’s smile dims. 

“You’re not, like, a stranger though?”

“So much has happened since we last really talked.” 

“Since last weekend?”

“No, since we were like _fourteen._ Now we’re Alphas, and legal adults, and do things like have sex and go to clubs with mediocre techno music.” 

“Okay, fair. We have become adults who can do adult things. But I don’t think you presenting as an Alpha, or having bad music taste, means I don’t know you anymore.”

Donghyuck looks at him incredulously. “First of all, you like this DJ? That’s embarrassing for you. Second of all, I—” He pauses, realizing he doesn’t have any kind of witty comeback. He stares at Mark, brows furrowed.

Mark giggles and reaches out, poking at the moles on Donghyuck’s face that are covered by foundation. “I remember when we were kids I was so jealous of your face moles. I thought they were the coolest things in the world. I even tried to draw them on my own cheeks with my mom’s eyebrow pencil.” 

His fingers trace lightly over each mole, solely from memory, because they aren't visible under Donghyuck’s make up. Donghyuck keeps still, hyper aware of Mark’s fingers on his cheek. 

“I can’t believe you remember where they are.”

Mark grins at him, taking his hand away. “I spent almost all of my formative years looking at them.”

Stranger. Strange. Donghyuck feels strange— a new kind of electricity buzzing under his skin. 

“Okay,” he says, trying to shake off the weird feeling, and pivots the conversation away from the past, “give me your phone.”

Mark startles, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone. Donghyuck types in his contact information, then sends a text to himself. 

“You better text me later,” he says, “but now I gotta go find Jaemin and Renjun in the crowd so they can take me home.”

He lifts himself up and Mark follows after him. They walk down the alleyway again, which is as crowded as it was before. Mark quickly puts on ear plugs before they go inside— good for him, he cares about his ears— and tries to wave awkwardly when Donghyuck makes to leave. Donghyuck rolls his eyes and gives Mark a quick hug, then slips away before he can catch the expression on Mark’s face. He clutches his phone carefully against his chest with one hand, rubbing at his cheek with the other, and starts the impossible task of finding his friends in the mess of bodies. 

***

**Mark**

**__** _hey_

_who is this_

_u know who :(_

_lol ok. hi mark_

_hiii. how are u doing?_

_im ok_

_doing some work_

_but i can’t concentrate :/// wbu?_

_i’m doing work too_

_oh what r u working on?_

_are u learning about cool stars_

_black holes actually hahahaha_

_MY FAVES_

_reallyyyyy? wanna know a fun fact_

_yes_

_if u fall into a black hole_

_the strength of gravity will “spaghettify” you_

_so your body will be like stretched_

_into a piece of spaghetti_

_uhh?? that sounds disgusting_

_riiiiiightttttt_

_anyway if u ever wanted to study together_

_like on campus that could be fun right_

_yeah id be down_

“What are you smiling at?” Jaemin asks.

Donghyuck drops his phone like it burns his fingers. “Just that guy Mark from the party. We kinda reconnected recently.”

“That’s cool,” Jaemin says, eyeing him curiously. Donghyuck clears his throat and goes back to his phone, sending Mark a time for their study date. Study session.

“Hold on. Was he the Alpha that Jeno was hanging around at the club with last weekend?” 

“Oh, you saw that? Yeah, that’s him.” 

Jaemin sips his iced coffee aggressively. “Damn. Thought I had a chance with Jeno now that you two are done.” 

“You should text him,” Donghyuck says eagerly. “You can ask if he’s seeing anyone.” 

“I don’t wanna make it awkward.” 

“It doesn’t hurt to ask.”

“Why, are you interested?”

“Of course not,” Donghyuck snaps. 

Jaemin raises his eyebrows. “I was just teasing. Are you feeling okay?” 

Donghyuck slumps into his seat and stares hard at the table. “Yeah, sorry. Guess I’m just curious about Mark and Jeno, but you should do whatever you want.” 

Jaemin chews on his chapped bottom lip. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck sends Jaemin a smile, which eases the tension on Jaemin’s face. 

“Did I tell you about the time I ran into Jeno at the gym? It was a holy experience,” Jaemin says, launching into a dramatic retelling of Jeno’s run on a treadmill. Donghyuck marvels at the bright look in Jaemin’s eyes— he had never been this excited about Jeno’s workout routine. It feels like a puzzle piece falling into place. 

***

The study dates become something of a tradition. Every week Mark and Donghyuck meet at the library, or the physics building, or the music hall. Between papers and projects Donghyuck gets to relearn all of Mark’s habits. He still tends to get too lost in his work, and it’s usually on Donghyuck to remind him about basic necessities like food and water. He also still does that funny thing where he plays with his ears when he’s thinking, or randomly sings along to whatever song he is listening to in a soothing voice. Donghyuck finds himself spending an increasing amount of time thinking about Mark’s ears, or his glasses, or the stickers on his laptop, or the new jacket he was wearing. It’s alarming, the amount of space someone can take up in his mind. 

He is careful to hide this new development, not quite sure what to do with it. Mark probably doesn’t think about him half as often, doesn’t eagerly await his texts, doesn’t spend thirty minutes choosing what to wear before going to study with a friend. Especially if that friend is another Alpha. Mark, while always affable and friendly, is always careful to keep a certain amount of physical distance between them. Whenever Donghyuck gets closer to Mark, Mark leans away. 

It’s not surprising in any way. Alphas don’t tend to be that touchy-feely, especially not with each other. There is always that undercurrent of competition between them, that shared language of comparison. Of course, Donghyuck forgets that when he and Jaemin are such physically close friends, despite both being Alphas. After Mark shrugs him off for the nth time, Donghyuck gets the message. He keeps his own distance, though not without a fair level of disappointment. He didn’t think Mark would be the type of Alpha to care about all that top dog bullshit. 

He peers at Mark from over his laptop screen. Mark wears a comfortable gray sweatshirt and is wholly absorbed in his problem set. He checks his phone— well past dinnertime. 

“Hey, we should go eat something,” Donghyuck says.

Mark takes a moment to respond. “Oh shit, you’re right. Okay, how about when I finish this pset?” 

Donghyuck nods and wraps up his own reading. He and Mark pack up their stuff quickly and make their way to a pizza place by the library. 

“So, I have a question,” Mark says once they have warm slices of pizza in their hands. 

“What’s up?” Donghyuck says, taking a big bite. 

“Are you dating Jeno?” 

Donghyuck chokes on his pizza. He coughs and splutters while Mark pats him awkwardly on the back. “Shit dude, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says, coming back from the brink of death as he finally swallows his bite, “you surprised me. But, uh, no. We were kinda hanging out a while ago, but that’s over.”

“Oh,” Mark says, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“Actually I thought you were dating him.” 

“What? Why?” Now it is Mark’s turn to sputter in disbelief. 

“Remember, at that club? I saw you two together.” 

“Yeah, we were like, just talking. Why would you think we were together?”

“I dunno. It’s not like Alphas and Omegas tend to be _just_ friends.”

“That’s what I thought about you two!” 

“Wow,” Donghyuck says, “we are so stupid.” 

“We sure are,” Mark says fondly.

“Anyway Jaemin has a huge crush on him.”

“Actually, I’ve heard Jeno mention Jaemin a lot.”

Donghyuck gasps. “We should get them together! We can all get dinner and drinks. Do a little matchmaking.”

Mark flaps his hands in excitement. “Absolutely.” 

They smile at each other over their pizza. Donghyuck feels like he’s looking at Mark for the very first time. He looks tired, dressed down, standing under the fluorescent lights of the restaurant. And yet, there is a softness to his edges, a certain warmth that Donghyuck can feel from across the table. 

***

The night starts off promising. Donghyuck’s roommates are both out of town, so he offers up his apartment. Jaemin and Jeno hit it off, as expected. The dinner passes easily, Mark catching his eye and wiggling his eyebrows at Jaemin’s obvious flirting, Jeno’s delight. Donghyuck guides the conversation to center the pair.

They break out the wine, play music and chatter away. Donghyuck feels like he could float right out of his chair. By the end of the night, Jeno and Jaemin are ignoring Mark and Donghyuck completely, giggling and whispering to each other. Mark casually suggests they order an uber home together, since it’s late and they live near each other. Donghyuck gives him a high-five under the table for the move. 

Jaemin gives Donghyuck a crushing hug before leaving, giddy. “I’m gonna ask him out,” he whispers into Donghyuck’s ear. 

“Sounds like a plan,” Donghyuck replies, hoping Jaemin and Jeno don’t scar their uber driver too badly.

The door closes loudly with their departure and Donghyuck turns to Mark triumphantly. “I bet they’re gonna hook up tonight.” 

“Oh, for sure. They’ll probably be making out in the backseat of the uber all the way home,” Mark says. 

“We deserve a reward,” Donghyuck says, pulling out a second bottle of wine— his fancy one that he reserves for special occasions. He and Mark split the bottle, their lips turning purple. They move to the couch, leaning towards each other. Mark has his leg pressed against Donghyuck and the night passes slow and fast at once. Donghyuck watches the way Mark talks— the way he moves his mouth, his hands— in fascination. 

All too quickly, their eyes are drooping and thoughts are slowing with sleep. Donghyuck, happily fed and wine drunk, tells Mark he can stay for the night. “Only if you’re too tired to go home,” he adds on, hastily. 

“Okay, sure,” Mark says slowly. His eyes are roaming Donghyuck’s face. Donghyuck isn’t sure what he’s looking for. He stands up from the couch and leads Mark over to the bedroom. Mark stands awkwardly by the door while he pulls out a pair of sweatpants. 

“I’m gonna go brush my teeth,” Donghyuck hands Mark the spare clothes, takes his own pajamas with him, and locks himself in the bathroom. He takes deep breaths while he stares at himself in the mirror. As kids, they used to have sleepovers all the time. Donghyuck is never this nervous to share the bed with a friend. 

“Get it together,” he says to himself around the lump in his throat. This is just _Mark._ Mark who laughs at all his jokes, even in the silent rooms of the library. Mark who has fallen back into place in Donghyuck’s life like he never left. 

He splashes water onto his face and brushes his teeth aggressively, then changes into his loose shirt and shorts. He finds Mark sitting in the living room, wearing Donghyuck’s clothes, scrolling through his phone. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Donghyuck says. Mark nods and stands up, follows him once again to his bedroom. 

“I like your room,” Mark says, gesturing to the posters and artwork he has on the wall, the speaker system next to his desk. 

“Thanks,” Donghyuck replies, peeling the covers off the bed and slipping under them. Mark joins him, and then they’re laying on their backs, both staring up at the ceiling, arms just barely touching. Donghyuck can feel the miniscule space between them as if it were a tangible thing, a wall he shouldn’t touch. 

“Tonight was fun,” Mark says, speaking into the dark room. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck agrees. They fall silent again. Donghyuck turns over so his back is facing Mark. “Good night.”

“‘Night, Hyuck,” Mark whispers. 

***

The covers are too heavy. Donghyuck is sweating under his pajamas as he opens his eyes. Pale light streams into the room, casting everything in a hazy gray glow. He turns over and finds himself face to face with Mark’s collarbones. He tries to curl his legs up but accidentally knocks his knees into Mark’s thighs. He stills when he feels Mark shift next to him, then tilts his head up to find Mark blinking sleepily. 

“Hey,” Mark whispers. He moves down so their faces are lined up, bodies a breath apart. Donghyuck memorizes the shadows on Mark’s face, the way his cheek is squished against the pillow, how the morning light plays with the strands in his hair. 

He doesn’t know who leans in first, but without thinking it through, Donghyuck closes his eyes, tilts his head, and brushes his lips against Mark’s. Their mouths move slowly, feather-light, nothing else touching. Donghyuck breathes in deeply through his nose, then drapes an arm heavily over Mark’s shoulders and tangles his fingers in Mark’s hair. 

Mark moves his own arm to cup his hand against Donghyuck’s cheek, then skims his fingers down Donghyuck’s arm, over his hips, around his back, and pushes their chests closer together. Donghyuck hums and kisses insistently, hooking a knee over Mark’s hips. The too-warm air in the room grows even hotter as Mark moves a hand up and down his thighs, then grips the back of his knee to hook his leg even higher. Donghyuck responds by laying on top of him, straddling his thighs and pressing his shoulders into the sheets. 

Donghyuck’s sleep-slow mind goes thoughtless as Mark hooks a finger over the loose neck of Donghyuck’s t-shirt and dips down to kiss a line down his neck and shoulders. A soft sigh makes its way into the room as he pulls lightly on the strands of Mark’s hair. He rolls his hips downwards and feels Mark shudder beneath him, who then grips Donghyuck’s hips and rolls them down again. Donghyuck can feel himself growing hard, body shaky and head filled with white noise as he runs his hands all over Mark’s shoulders. 

The shrill sound of his alarm jolts them out of their haze. It blares into the room, drowning out the sounds of shifting bed sheets and moving lips. Donghyuck falls out of Mark’s lap to stop the noise. He briefly checks his notifications— what looks like twenty messages from Jaemin— then turns to look at Mark.

His stomach drops when he finds Mark watching him with wide eyes, shoulders hunched in on themselves, patting down his hair. 

“Hyuck—”

“I’m really sorry,” Donghyuck interrupts. “I didn’t mean for that to happen, I swear.”

Mark deflates, his head dropping and gaze locked on his fidgeting fingers. “Oh. You didn’t?”

Donghyuck shakes his head emphatically. “I have no idea what I was thinking, seriously.”

He expects Mark to laugh it off with him, to remove the tension from the air with his fond eyes or signature giggle. But Mark jumps out of bed, puts on his glasses, and immediately starts collecting his stuff. 

“I should go. I, uh, have work to do. Anyway— yeah. See you later.”

“Wait, Mark—” Donghyuck says, bewildered, as he trails after Mark and watches him pull on his sweater and slip into his shoes.

“Bye, Hyuck,” Mark says, then all but runs out the door. 

Donghyuck stares at the closed door. He stands alone in the living room, shirt slipping off his shoulder and hair sticking to his forehead with sweat. He feels the ghost of Mark’s lips against his throat, feels the heat of Mark’s body on his tingling palms. He takes a deep breath, and chokes at the overwhelming smell of _Alpha_ that permeates the air. 

The floor is cold as he sinks to his knees, pressing his hands against his eyes as he hunches over himself. He wanted that. He wants that. He wants Mark— only now does he recognize the tightness pooling in his lower stomach as he tries to erase the memories of Mark’s curious hands and mouth. 

He already lost Mark for being too far. Will he lose Mark again, this time for getting too close? 

Every time he breathes, he’s reminded of who was just in his bed, enticing scent embedding itself in his clothes. His skin should be crawling, confused by Mark’s Alpha scent. But it just feels cold instead.

***

Jaemin is glowing— even when he’s being annoying and giving Donghyuck a play-by-play of his daily morning text exchange with Jeno. It apparently involves various sappy messages and pictures of cats.

“And then he sent me a meme,” Jaemin sighs. 

“Very romantic,” Donghyuck deadpans. 

They’re at Jaemin’s place, laptops pulled out and table arranged carefully for optimal focus. They are, of course, not actually focusing on work. 

“You’re sure you’re okay with this?” Jaemin asks suddenly, placing his phone on the table and flipping it screen-side down. 

“Yeah, I told you that already.”

“It’s just that you’ve seemed a little down these past few days.”

“It’s not about that,” Donghyuck defends hastily, “I don’t think I ever really liked him that way.”

Jaemin tilts his head to the side. “You guys were hooking up for like a month.” 

“I know. And it was fun, I guess,” Donghyuck glares at his laptop screen, struggling for words. It’s not a common feeling for him. Jaemin stays silent, just looking at him with those wide, sincere eyes.

“I don’t know if I liked hooking up with _him_ , or if I liked the fact that I was hooking up with someone _like_ him,” Donghyuck finally lets out.

“Someone like him?”

“Like, an Omega as great as him.”

“You mean you felt validated. Like, as an Alpha.” 

Donghyuck’s eyes fly from his screen up to Jaemin’s face. His expression hasn’t changed, but Donghyuck notices the tight grip he has on his mug. “Did you two talk about me?”

“What? No! Of course not,” Jaemin says. 

Donghyuck leans back in his chair, laughing. It sounds odd, high-pitched and breathless. “You talked about me and Jeno having sex, didn’t you?” 

“Donghyuck—,” Jaemin says.

“No! If you know all the details, why don’t you tell me what’s going on in my head, huh? Because I have no idea,” Donghyuck says, his voice catching and breaking on his words. 

Jaemin jumps and wraps him up in a hug. He sniffles into Jaemin’s shoulder, allowing Jaemin to rock them side to side. Jaemin smells nice, not because he’s an Alpha, but because he is warm and familiar and Donghyuck’s friend. The anger that had taken over him seeps out of his system and leaves him exhausted.

“Jeno and I never talked about that stuff. I _promise_ I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that,” Jaemin says.

“I know.”

“And if you don’t know what’s going on in your head, that’s okay.”

Donghyuck nods and breaks away from Jaemin, rubbing at his eyes. “I remember when I used to be fun. Now I’m just a mess.”

Jaemin gives him a pointed look. “I love fun Hyuck just as much as I love messy Hyuck.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes but cuddles back into him anyway. Jaemin doesn’t push him to talk more, just presses his face into Donghyuck’s neck and sways their bodies back and forth. 

***

The conversation with Jaemin gives Donghyuck the confidence to finally message Mark about his clothes, which have sat washed and folded on his desk for three days. He can’t quite decipher Mark’s tone through text, and bounces a little on his feet while he waits for Mark to show up outside the classroom they had agreed to meet at. 

Mark must be running late. Donghyuck watches people slowly trail into the room. An Omega with a silver mullet notices him hanging by the door and walks up to him. 

“Hey! Are you here for SPS?” the Omega asks. 

“I’m just waiting for a friend,” Donghyuck says.

“Okay. Well, you’re welcome to come inside if you want. We have pizza.”

Donghyuck nods eagerly, happy to have someone to talk to while he waits. The students inside are chatting amongst themselves and munching on food. The Omega, who introduces himself as Taeyong, the president of the Society for Physics Students, leads him to the table with the pizza. Donghyuck takes a slice and asks Taeyong questions about the club with interest. He’s nodding along to Taeyong explaining his senior thesis when they’re interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Hyuck?”

Donghyuck twirls around at Mark’s voice. Mark looks good, as usual— a yankees cap and new thick-rimmed glasses. He notices that the hair under his cap is no longer ashy-purple, but dark brown. Donghyuck sends him a tense smile, which Mark returns.

“Oh,” Taeyong says, the sound drawn out, “you’re _Mark’s friend_ Hyuck.” 

Mark immediately jumps between them while Donghyuck peers curiously at Taeyong. 

“Has Mark mentioned me?” he asks.

Taeyong opens his mouth to reply, but Mark speaks first. “Not really! Like only in passing, you know? Anyway, let's—” 

Taeyong claps his hands together suddenly. “Right, everyone, let's start the meeting. Why don’t you two sit down?”

The entire room looks at them, so Donghyuck and Mark have no choice but to sit. Donghyuck follows Mark (of course he chooses a seat near the front) and watches Taeyong begin the meeting. They go around the room introducing themselves, which Donghyuck does while hiding his bewilderment at how he ended up in a room full of physics students learning about aerodynamics when all he wanted to do was give Mark back his jeans. Donghyuck resolutely looks at Taeyong, uninterested in what he’ll find on Mark’s face if he tries to catch Mark’s eye.

Within the first five minutes it's clear that Mark is both well known and well loved among the club members. Taeyong calls him up to give a short presentation, and a few members yell out his name. Mark laughs awkwardly, swerving to avoid the arms of a red-haired Beta as he makes his way to the whiteboard. His presentation turns out to be on a project Donghyuck is somewhat familiar with given their time spent studying together. Some of it goes over his head, but he remembers Mark’s patient explanations and can follow along. 

Judging from the nods and stares across the room, people are impressed with Mark’s work. He is much more focused and serious than usual, well prepared and knowledgeable. The room breaks into applause as Mark heads back to his seat, this time failing to avoid the Beta who delivers a proper hug. Mark sits down with flaming red ears. 

“Good job,” Donghyuck whispers, forgetting that they’re supposed to feel awkward around each other and knocking his shoulder into Mark’s. 

“Thanks,” Mark whispers back.

The rest of the meeting goes similarly— people going up to the front and presenting ongoing projects. He shifts his attention between the darkening sky outside, the pizza in his hands, and the way Mark is looking over at him every five seconds. Their desks are pressed close together, though more by design of the cramped room than any kind of action between them. Still, he can feel Mark sitting tense and nervous beside him as if he were in Mark’s own seat. 

It’s impossible not to let his mind run wild with Mark so close and yet unable to speak. Donghyuck tries to steer his mind back to the present moment, but it is stuck at a crossroads, imagining what could happen between them— on one side, Mark tells him they can no longer be friends, and Donghyuck must forget about him like he had done years ago. On the other they remain friends and this sticky feeling in the space between them only grows until Donghyuck can no longer be _just_ friends. And there, somewhere in between, Donghyuck’s mind follows an unmarked path where Mark reaches out and holds his hand, introduces him to the other physics students in the room with a fond smile, then takes them home to slip out of their clothes and under the covers. 

It’s a vivid image, but so rose-tinted and out of place surrounded by the sharp edges of the crowded chairs, the pencil Mark twirls in his hand, the graphs and diagrams projected onto the wall. It takes impossibly long for the meeting to end, by the time which Donghyuck has run through the three scenarios in his head and convinced himself of them all. The last presenter wraps up, and Taeyong ends the meeting by ordering everyone to take home the leftover pizza. 

A couple people come up to Mark after the meeting ends, including the red haired Beta that had yelled out his name during his presentation.

“Where have you been, Mark Lee?” the Beta demands, slinging an arm over Mark’s shoulders. 

“I’ve been busy, Yuta,” Mark replies, uncharacteristically curt.

“And who is this?” Yuta asks, turning two piercing eyes on Donghyuck. 

Donghyuck grins, not letting the intensity of Yuta’s gaze affect his own carefully constructed relaxed expression. “I’m Mark’s plus one.” 

Mark chokes out a laugh as Yuta shakes him back and forth. “Mark, you didn’t tell us you would bring a friend!”

“He was just dropping some stuff off and—”

“What stuff?”

“Actually Mark and I kind of have to head out,” Donghyuck says, smile sharp, extracting Mark from Yuta’s silver-painted finger. 

“Okay,” Yuta says, raising his eyebrows, “hopefully I’ll see you around. And answer my texts, Mark, or I’ll think you burnt the house down after trying to make eggs again.” 

Donghyuck drags Mark out of the room. “That is the most intimidating Beta I have ever met,” he says, turning his head to get one last glance at Yuta. 

“Yuta? Oh, he’s just a little protective,” Mark says. 

They walk out the building in silence. Nighttime has fully descended, though the streets are still bustling with students. The air is heavy, the promise of rain only moments away. Donghyuck reaches into his bag and pulls out Mark’s clothes. 

“Here, these are yours,” he says. 

Mark takes them carefully, running his hand over the fabric of his jeans. “They smell like you.”

“It should go away in a few hours if you wear them.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that’s bad. I just noticed, that’s all. You smell good,” Mark says hastily. 

“Oh. Thanks,” Donghyuck says. He waits for Mark to say something, but then realizes Mark is waiting for him to say something, and they’re stuck in an infinite loop of not wanting to break the silence. 

Donghyuck breaks first. He was never good with awkward pauses. “We should talk about what happened between us.”

Before Mark can answer, the sky opens up and falls down on them, the humidity in the air replaced by raindrops. Neither of them have umbrellas, although Mark pulls out a raincoat from his bag, holding it over their heads like a tarp. “I’m only like three blocks away from here. Wanna go to my place?”

Donghyuck feels water fall down his shirt, slipping down his back. “Yeah,” he says over the rumble of thunder. 

They walk close together, their shoes squelching as they step, pants soaked through. Eventually Mark gives up on the raincoat and they break into a run. He leads them to a small building near campus, and up a few flights of stairs. Donghyuck shakes out his wet hair and takes off his shoes, peeling off his socks. 

“I can give you some of my clothes,” Mark says, still breathless from their run and drying his glasses. 

The apartment is surprisingly clean. Mark’s roommate, Jungwoo, pokes his head out of his room and greets them softly. Mark hands Donghyuck some dry clothes, and Donghyuck changes in the bathroom, hanging his own clothes over the shower. When Donghyuck steps into the living room in baggy shorts and a sweatshirt, he finds Mark and two mugs of tea waiting at the table. 

“Thanks,” Donghyuck says, sitting down and taking the tea Mark offers him. He takes a sip, hiding a wince as it burns his tongue, and they listen to the rain outside for just a moment. Mark wipes at his fogged-up lenses. 

“I like you,” Donghyuck confesses to the quiet room.

He doesn’t know what makes him say it— whether it’s the comforting smell of Mark’s sweatshirt, or the way Mark’s still-wet hair flops over his forehead, or the focused look on his face as he wipes his glasses. But Donghyuck has always been confident in his words, so when the words press against his throat, he lets them out. 

Mark almost drops his glasses as he scrambles to put them on. He stares at Donghyuck with wide eyes. “You don’t regret our kiss?”

“I regret what happened after.”

Mark sits frozen in his chair, mind clearly buzzing at full speeds behind his eyes. Donghyuck gives him a few moments to think. 

“I was worried I had ruined our friendship. And I was so excited to have you back,” Mark whispers. 

“I think we did ruin our friendship,” Donghyuck says. 

“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”

Donghyuck reaches his hands out, runs his fingertips over Mark’s knuckles, interlaces their fingers. They stare at their intertwined hands. Just looking at their fingers, no one can tell they’re both Alphas. They just look like hands— a little dry, a little shaky. Donghyuck leans across the table and kisses Mark. His back is bent at an odd angle, and Mark’s glasses get in the way a little, but his body relaxes as Mark’s lips move against his own.

Mark pulls him around the table and Donghyuck settles on his lap, removing his glasses and placing them gently on the table. The kiss deepens as Donghyuck places a hand on Mark’s cheek and tilts his head, drawing a careful line along Mark’s bottom lip with his tongue. He runs his thumb over Mark’s cheekbone, then pushes both hands into Mark’s damp hair. Mark’s hands make their way under Donghyuck’s sweatshirt to explore his skin, running his fingernails up his spine lightly. 

They stand only to stumble into Mark’s bedroom. Donghyuck stops at the doorway, studying Mark’s room for the first time. There’s a guitar sitting in its case in the corner, a well organized desk piled high with textbooks, and a messily made bed with black sheets. Mark wraps his arms around Donghyuck from behind, fingers trailing over his stomach near the button of his jeans and lips pressing lightly against his neck. 

Once Donghyuck has had his fill of Mark’s room, they fall onto his bed. Donghyuck lays his head on the pillows and pulls Mark on top of him. He runs his hands under Mark’s shirt while they kiss until Mark sits up to pull his shirt off. Donghyuck makes grabby hands at him and pushes him into the sheets, exploring the planes, curves, and divots of all the newly freed skin. Mark hums as Donghyuck circles his nipples with his tongue, and yelps a little as Donghyuck makes his way further down and nibbles on the sensitive skin by Mark’s hip. 

He undoes the buttons of Mark’s pants, then sits up to watch Mark wiggle out of them, kicking into the air. “Why did you put these tight jeans on?” he demands as he helps pull them off. 

“I didn’t think I’d have to take them off so soon,” Mark says defensively.

“Well, that’s a huge lack of foresight on your part,” he says and throws the offending pair of pants on the ground. 

He takes off his own shirt and settles into Mark’s lap, kissing his neck while Mark’s hands trail up his thighs, pushing up the loose fabric of his shorts. He pulls experimentally on Mark’s hair, grinning as Mark breathes out a curse and grips Donghyuck’s ass, pushing them closer together, then slips a hand between their bodies to cup the tent of Donghyuck’s shorts. The grin falls off as he pushes his face into Mark’s neck and grinds against his palm. 

Mark whines as Donghyuck rolls away, but falls silent when Donghyuck slips off his shorts and boxers in one motion. Mark pushes off his own underwear and they melt back together again. Without fabric in the way, Donghyuck relishes the way Mark feels pressed up to him, all warm skin. Their legs tangle together as they kiss again, Donghyuck running his palms over Mark’s ass. Mark pushes him onto his back and draws a line of kisses down his stomach, then moves to suck hickeys onto his inner thighs, hands gripping his legs. 

Sighing, Donghyuck tilts his head to the side. He spies a mirror against the wall and looks at his reflection while Mark pushes his legs further apart. He can’t recognize himself— hair messy, lips red and swollen, pliant under Mark’s hands. On the wall opposite the mirror is Mark’s window. In the reflection he can look into the apartments across the street. The windows watch him, disapproving. He freezes, gaze locked on the two strangers in the mirror, trapped in a panopticon of glass and curtains. 

“Are you okay?” 

Donghyuck rips his gaze from the mirror to find Mark sitting up, pulling his hands away and crossing his legs. “Why did you stop?” 

“You went kinda quiet,” Mark says, fingers fiddling with the sheets. 

“Oh. I guess I got lost in my head for a second. You didn’t have to stop though.”

Mark crosses his arm. “Of course I did. Do you wanna talk about it?” 

Donghyuck looks pointedly at their respective boners. “Is now really the time?” 

“If you want it to be.”

Chewing on his tingling lips, Donghyuck frowns at the foot of space between them, then stretches out his arms. “Only if you come back here.” 

Mark wraps his arms around Donghyuck willingly and they lay down on the pillows. Donghyuck forces his mind to stay on the way Mark rubs little circles onto his shoulder and not on the lingering heat between his legs. 

“This is my first time hooking up with an Alpha,” he admits. 

Mark nods in understanding. “The first time I had sex with an Alpha I freaked the fuck out.” 

“Why?”

“I dunno. I guess it's different for everyone. I had a really messed up sense of pride— I thought that if I hooked up with an Alpha it turned me into less of one. And I didn’t want to give up that sense of superiority.” 

Donghyuck hums. “But what kind of Alpha submits to another?” 

Mark frowns. “Sex doesn’t have to be about submission. That’s not even what most Alpha-Omega relationships are like, we’re just taught that it is. And if you are into that,” Mark clears his throat, blushing, “like, that’s cool too. It doesn’t make me respect you as an _Alpha_ any less.” 

“Really?”

“Dude, do you know the vibe you give off sometimes? I mean, I know you’re not really into that Alpha competition shit but your pheromones are kind of terrifying. Like in a good way. Like you can really handle yourself. I respect the hell out of you.” 

“Even though you wanna fuck me?” 

Mark laughs, hiding his face in Donghyuck’s shoulder. “Yeah, I wanna fuck you. I can’t stop thinking about you. But, I mean, do you feel like you see me any differently even if you wanna fuck me?”

Donghyuck pulls Mark away from his shoulder and searches his face. His hair is messy and cheeks flushed. Donghyuck feels his stomach swoop at the idea of pressing into Mark, of watching him shake and moan. Weirdly, the thought coexists with the fact that Mark is an Alpha.

“Okay. Okay maybe you’re right,” he pouts. 

Mark nuzzles back into Donghyuck’s neck. “This is the first time you’ve admitted I’m right about something.”

“That’s because I’musually right about things. You don’t even know how to make scrambled eggs.”

“That was onetime, oh my god.”

The tension of the moment fades away as they laugh. Mark begins to pull back on his underwear, so Donghyuck follows suit. He expects Mark to reach out for him again, to pull on the band of his boxers and ask to start things up again. 

“Do you wanna play music?” Mark says instead, putting his glasses back on.

***

The next few days are incredibly busy. Donghyuck runs around campus all day and studies all night, the stress of midterms mounting as the hours he spends practicing piano increases exponentially. He and Mark check up on each other over text. At some point Mark calls him, on the verge of tears, over an exam he thinks he failed, so Donghyuck brings him bubble tea and talks him down. It’s a sweet, quick moment. Mark needs some tough love about academics not defining self worth and Donghyuck is happy to deliver. 

He FaceTimes Jaemin and his mom every other day to keep himself sane, and asks Taeil to look over a composition before he hands it in. He knows he still has a lot to think about, but there just aren’t enough hours in the day to unlearn two decades of Alpha stereotypes _and_ pass his classes. So he focuses on passing his classes first, and catches up with Mark in the library, slipping hidden kisses between pages of their essays. 

The minute he turns in his last project, Jaemin drags him to an end of midterms excursion with Renjun. They’re at Jaemin’s dorm, pregaming while Donghyuck raids Jaemin’s closet for cute clothes, when Jeno and Mark come in. Donghyuck shrugs on Jaemin’s metallic jacket then pokes his head out. 

“You’re alive,” he cheers, running up to Mark’s side and wrapping him up in a big hug. He freezes for half a second, wondering if Mark will shrug him off in front of their friends. But Mark just returns the hug, all friendly and warm. 

“Just barely. But I finished all of my exams,” Mark says, the curve of his shoulders eased with the weight of midterms gone. 

“That’s great! You worked really hard,” Donghyuck says, wanting to mention Mark’s nonexistent sleep schedule but keeping quiet and giving him a side hug instead. 

Mark sends him a soft, tired smile. “Thanks, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck for sure would have kissed him in that moment, if Jeno hadn’t stepped up to him to say hello. He squeezes Mark’s shoulder then turns away to greet Jeno comfortably, any lingering awkwardness between them completely gone.

“How’s it going, Hyuck?” Jeno asks, returning Donghyuck’s hug. They chat about their week while watching Jaemin roll a blunt, fingers practiced and nimble. The group heads downstairs, waving at Jaemin’s neighbors and loitering by the front of the building to pass around the blunt. Mark hangs off his shoulder, eyes drooping. Donghyuck pokes at the thin skin under his lashes. 

“You sure you wanna go out tonight?” Donghyuck asks. 

Mark nods. “I invited some friends I want you to meet.” 

Donghyuck takes the blunt Jaemin passes him with two fingers. They finish it off between murmured conversation, and then head over to the club. It’s dark outside, but it had rained earlier in the day so the puddles on the ground reflect the streetlights, creating little ripples of yellow and red. It makes the world look inverted in a distant way. Donghyuck leans down to touch the water but Mark pulls him away, looking mildly disgusted. 

They make it to the party in one piece, walking up a steep staircase, shiny shoes standing out against the faded carpeting. On the second floor of the building stands a small wooden door that opens up to a huge room doused in pink lights, red-cushioned booths lining the walls. Groups of friends gather around the tables, smoking cigarettes and holding drinks in their hands. 

Donghyuck and the others claim a table of their own, sliding into the plush seats. A few other people they recognize come up to them. He hands out hugs and greetings easily, leaning into friends or friends of friends, yelling over the noise. 

“Let’s go check out the music?” Jaemin shouts into his ear. Donghyuck nods, glancing at their table. Mark giggles in the corner of his booth talking to his friend Johnny, and Renjun leans against the edge of the table on his phone. He tells them he’ll be back and follows Jaemin and Jeno into the back room. Smoke and sound spill into the air, the flashing lights coloring the spaces between dancing bodies. 

The group finds an alcove between groups and dance around, not saying anything and ignoring anyone who tries to go up to them. Donghyuck allows his eyes to close and feels the tension caught in the winkles of his brain melt away. 

Eventually he senses a familiar scent standing out among the rest. Donghyuck opens his eyes and turns around to find Mark behind him. 

“Hey!” Donghyuck says, throwing his arms around Mark’s neck. 

“You having fun?” Mark’s laugh reverberates through Donghyuck’s chest. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says, drawing away and putting a hand on either side of Mark’s face, pinching the apples of his cheek. “You’re so cute. I wanna eat you up.” 

“All right. But first I want you to meet some friends,” Mark says. 

Donghyuck ducks away from Jaemin’s good-bye kiss and gives Jeno a quick side hug, then follows Mark back into the pink room. Mark leads them to their booth, where Donghyuck finds two gorgeous Alphas lounging against the cushions. The one in black eyeliner turns to appraise them, flashing a sharp smile, pheromones strong and intimidating. 

“You’re so pretty,” Donghyuck says, sliding into the seat. Mark comes in next to him, wrapping a casual arm around his shoulders. 

“Hyuck, meet Irene and Seulgi. Irene is my research advisor, and Seulgi is her girlfriend.” 

“I’ve been looking forward to meeting you,” Irene says. 

“Hold on. Girlfriend? Aren’t you both Alphas?” Donghyuck says, spotting the angle of Irene and Seulgi’s arms, surmising they must be holding hands under the table.

“We _are_ Alphas. And we’ve been dating for almost two years now,” Seulgi confirms. 

“Oh,” Donghyuck says, wishing he could focus more on his shock than the glitter that sparkles on Seulgi’s cheeks. But he just stares at the make up, eyes wide, needing extra time to process the information.

“Cool,” he decides. “Where did you get your makeup?” 

The conversation flows easily from there. Irene hints strongly that Mark has mentioned him multiple times. It is kind of wildly inappropriate, teasing Mark about a crush (which is reciprocated) with his research advisor. But Mark just laughs along, staring at Irene with stars in his eyes. Donghyuck relates. 

A small, insignificant part of his brain works hard in the background. It watches the easy way Irene and Seulgi talk to each, the casual touches shared between them. It observes from a distance Donghyuck’s hand resting on Mark’s thigh, the way the sides of their bodies are pressed close together, and allows Donghyuck’s eyes to graze on the sight of Mark’s lips, the edge of his jaw, the curve of his cheek. 

Nighttime slips through their seats, Mark sinking deeper and deeper into the cushions, a sleepless week catching up to him. Donghyuck runs his hands through Mark’s hair, exchanging song recommendations with Seulgi. Jaemin stops by their table, adjusting his fanny pack and buzzing with artificial energy. Donghyuck sends him to find Renjun and dance, to sweat off whatever is running through his system. Irene and Seulgi leave with warm eyes and sweet-smelling hugs. 

“They’re amazing,” Donghyuck says, turning to Mark. 

“Right?” Mark agrees. “They’re both really important to me, so I wanted you to meet them. I also, you know, felt like it would be cool for you to see two Alphas together.”

“Yeah, totally,” Donghyuck says and leans into Mark, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Mark smiles into the kiss. He puts a hand on the side of Mark’s neck, running his thumb over the ends of Mark’s hair and tilting his head. They kiss slowly, Donghyuck pressing Mark deeper into the cushions.

Donghyuck trails a hand up the inside of Mark’s thigh under the table. “I’ve been thinking about you,” he murmurs. 

“Oh yeah?” Mark breathes. Donghyuck resumes the kiss, pulling his hands back to a safer area, placing them on Mark’s shoulders. He slows down the pace of their lips, allowing the kiss to go languid. 

“I knew it!” They break apart to find a triumphant Jaemin looking at them. “You guys have been making googly eyes at each other all night.”

“Oh shit,” Mark says, eyeing Donghyuck nervously. Donghyuck chews on his lips, shoulders tense in wait for Jaemin’s reaction.

“This is so exciting,” Jaemin trills, “Hyuck, we’ve never both been dating someone at the same time. We can go on _double dates_.”

“Absolutely not. Ew. Double dates are lame. Just call it hanging out,” Donghyuck says, shoulders sagging as he schools his smile into a neutral expression. “Jaemin, I’m being serious here. I will not go on a double date.” 

Jaemin squeezes Donghyuck’s cheeks. “I’m so proud of you. I love you so much,” he coos.

“Okay, we get it, stop,” Donghyuck whines. 

Jaemin wraps him up in an octopus-like hug. “Let me smother you with love. It’s my job.”

“Fine,” Donghyuck mumbles into Jaemin’s shoulders, “but only if we can go get food now. I wanna eat something salty and greasy and then go the fuck to sleep.”

“Me too. I’m legit about to pass out right here,” Mark says. 

“Don’t do that. There’s probably cum and ten different kinds of drugs on these surfaces,” Jaemin says, pulling away. 

“Ugh, now I wanna shower too,” Donghyuck says. He’ll probably have to throw all his clothes in the wash if he wants to get rid of the trace scent of cigarettes. Which is a shame because they smell so much like Mark too. He presses himself back into Mark, trying to cover his skin in the scent. 

“All right, lovebirds, let's bounce. Mark, what kind of food do you want and what are your intentions with my best friend?”

“Uh,” Mark stammers out, “maybe fries. And, um, my intentions are good?”

“You don’t sound very confident about that.” 

“Okay, now we really have to go,” Donghyuck says, panicked, and ushers Mark and Jaemin out of their seats.

***

“No way you actually did this,” Donghyuck says, looking at Mark in disbelief, fanning the piece of paper in front of his face. 

“I want to be thorough!” Mark says defensively, hiding behind his own paper. 

“I can tell,” Donghyuck says faintly, skimming through the exhaustive list Mark had printed out for him. After Donghyuck had sent Mark a few pointed texts, Mark had quickly picked up on the fact that Donghyuck wanted to continue the conversation they had in bed the other day. After making sure that Mark understood what he meant by _conversation_ he invited himself over. 

He did not expect Mark to make an entire sex worksheet for them. They’re sitting on Mark’s table, Donghyuck mildly weary that Jungwoo will walk in on them at any moment and spot them putting little check marks next to their kinks. Donghyuck tries to look at Mark’s sheet, which has Mark sliding across the table in panic.

“Don’t look at mine. I want you to fill out yours without being influenced by whatever I put. Then we can share,” Mark says, hiding his answers. 

“God, I bet you never cheated on tests in high school,” Donghyuck says, squinting through Mark’s fingers.

“Of course not,” Mark scoffs, “keep your eyes to yourself.”

Donghyuck stares at his paper. If this is how Mark wants to do it, so be it, he thinks to himself. So he goes through the list, carefully considering the things he has already thought about, already done, or always wanted to do. It gets a lot easier to let his imagination run wild when it’s _Mark_ he thinks about doing it with. His paper has a fair amount of little check marks and scribbles by the time he finishes. 

It had taken a lot of talking himself up, a mildly graphic internet search, and a very embarrassing conversation with Jaemin to get him to this point. Mark had sent him a book written in fancy language about the history of Alphas dating other Alphas, but he’s only a few chapters in. Luckily, his pride as an Alpha is nowhere near his biggest concern as he chews on his pencil, wondering if Mark has any rope. 

“Okay, I’m done,” Donghyuck announces, sliding his paper over to Mark, who picks it up and compares their respective lists.

“Let me see,” Donghyuck whines, shifting his chair closer and looking over Mark’s shoulder. 

“This is good to know,” Mark says. “It’s important to be really clear about things. And, obviously we can change our mind at any time.”

“Yeah, red, yellow, green. I got it,” Donghyuck says, skimming Mark’s paper with hurried interest. “Wanna go to your room?”

“Hold on, do you have anything you want to try today specifically?” Mark says, showing herculean amounts of restraint as Donghyuck latches himself onto Mark’s side, nosing at his neck.

“Actually, I have been thinking,” Donghyuck murmurs, pressing quick kisses into Mark’s neck, “and I’d be down for most things, as you just read on my kink homework sheet—”

“Homework sheet,” Mark wheezes. 

Donghyuck continues without paying Mark’s words any mind. “But tonightI want you to fuck me. Like, really fuck me.”

Mark squirms in his seat. “I can definitely do that,” he says, voice high, “but that’s a big step. Are you sure?”

He twists so that he’s staring straight at Mark, putting his hands on Mark’s shoulders. “I fingered myself before I came over here in preparation for you to fuck me. Do not let all that hard work go to waste.” 

Mark goes tomato-red, eyes wide and mouth open in shock. “Okay. Okay, we need to get to the bed. Like now,” he says, hauling Donghyuck up from his chair. Donghyuck follows, a cheshire grin on his face as Mark ushers them into the bedroom. 

The sheets smell nice— a mixture of Mark’s natural scent and his laundry detergent. The scent cocoons him in comfort as he nestles into them, pulling Mark on top of him and wrapping his legs around Mark’s waist. Mark lowers himself onto his forearms and kisses Donghyuck deeply. Donghyuck slips his hands under Mark’s shirt, rucking it up to trail his fingers up Mark’s back. Mark rolls his hips and Donghyuck feels a jolt of pleasure burn up his spine. 

“This has gotta come off,” Donghyuck says, pulling at Mark’s shirt. Mark laughs breathlessly and leans away to shrug off his shirt and pull off his pants. Donghyuck does the same, throwing his clothes off the bed, uncaring where they land. He presses Mark into the bed, palming Mark’s dick through his boxers, drawing out a breathy moan. 

“You drive me crazy, Hyuck,” Mark pants while Donghyuck kisses down his stomach. He grips the base of Mark’s dick and sucks on the head. He feels pleasure lick up his spine as Mark pulls on his hair, stuttering out words of praise as he bobs his head, flattening his tongue. 

“Hold— hold up. Come back up here,” Mark says, using his hold on Donghyuck’s hair to pull him up. 

“Okay. Good news, I _definitely_ want your dick inside of me,” Donghyuck says, satisfied at the dazed look on Mark’s face. He lets out an embarrassing squeak as Mark manhandles him onto his stomach. Mark runs a hand up his back and around his ass, then leans over him to kiss his shoulder. Donghyuck holds his breath in anticipation as he feels fingers circle against his rim. Mark freezes behind him.

“Holy shit, you actually did finger yourself before coming here,” he says in wonder. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuck squirms under Mark’s hands, “hurry up. This is taking too long.”

Mark disappears for a second to get his lube and a condom and clambers back on the bed. He warms up the lube and slips a finger into Donghyuck. The slide is easy. Donghyuck waits patiently, focused on keeping his body loose and relaxed. Mark presses small kisses to his back as he slides in a second finger. He fucks in his fingers in earnest, the angle hitting just right. Donghyuck begins to shudder, letting out soft moans. 

The sheets are soft against his cheek as he presses himself deeper into the bed. He blinks hazily at the mirror. This time, he thinks, they look good. He can watch Mark’s face and that serious, focused expression. His eyes trace Mark’s hands, one holding Donghyuck’s hips in place, the other moving in and out. 

Mark follows his gaze and meets Donghyuck’s eyes through the mirror. “Are you watching us?” he asks, hand stilling. 

Donghyuck just arches his back and grins at their reflection. “Don’t we look good?” 

“We do,” Mark breathes and yanks Donghyuck up, twisting them so that they’re directly facing the mirror, on their knees and Donghyuck leaning into Mark’s chest. Mark trails a hand down Donghyuck’s chest and pumps his painfully hard dick. He feels his stomach swoop and tilts his head to the side. Mark wraps his other hand lightly around Donghyuck’s neck.

“You’re so pretty,” Mark says. 

Donghyuck can’t muster up a response besides a high-pitched whine. Mark isn’t even inside him yet and he feels like he’s about to explode. Luckily, Mark seems to catch on to what he’s thinking because he shifts them so they’re laying down again, this time with Donghyuck on his back. Mark grips Donghyuck’s thighs and moves them up and out. 

“You good? You ready?” he asks as he rolls on the condom. 

“Yes, yeah,” Donghyuck nods hurriedly. 

Mark lines himself up and presses into him slowly. He waits for a moment for Donghyuck to adjust, then begins moving his hips, honeyed sighs dripping out of his mouth. He pushes Donghyuck’s knees into his chest and picks up the pace. Donghyuck is dimly aware that he is being too loud, staccato moans perfectly timed with the snap of Mark’s hips, but he can’t focus on anything besides the feeling of Mark pushing into him again and again.

“I’m close,” Donghyuck pants, moving a hand down to his dick. 

“Me too.” Mark’s thrusts grow less controlled. He slaps away Donghyuck’s hand and replaces it with his own, moving his hand quickly until Donghyuck’s stomach tenses, white hot heat shooting through his body. Mark shudders above him, burying his face in Donghyuck’s neck. Donghyuck dazedly grips on Mark’s shoulders, aftershocks working through his body as Mark’s hips stutter and he finishes with a soft moan. 

They lay like that for a second, catching their breath. Then Mark kisses his neck lightly, pulling out and rolling onto his back. They’re sticky and sweaty, but Donghyuck cuddles into Mark anyway. Mark runs a hand lightly over his shoulder, leans forward to kiss his cheeks, his nose. Donghyuck tilts his head to meet Mark’s lips, slow and soft. 

“Thank you for trusting me,” Mark whispers. “Do you feel okay?”

Donghyuck puts a hand on Mark’s cheek. He does a quick check in with himself, his mind, his body. He feels relaxed and spent, hasn’t even thought about his old worries of feeling lesser after being fucked by another Alpha. 

“I feel great,” he leans in to quickly kiss Mark again, “what about you?”

Mark gives him a fond smile, stars in his eyes. “So do I.”

***

“Wait! We don’t have dessert. I want something sweet,” Donghyuck whines into the freezer, pouting at the lack of ice cream.

“Do you want me to call Jeno and Jaemin and tell them to pick something up?” Mark asks from the table while he meticulously puts down plates and cutlery. 

“Jeno will want to get some bullshit healthy dessert though.”

“Nah, I trust Jaemin to get something good,” Mark says, coming up behind Donghyuck and shutting the freezer door. Donghyuck turns around and pats Mark’s cheek. 

“Okay. And you told Renjun to bring alcohol?” 

Mark nods in confirmation. “Is Taeil bringing anything?”

“Of course not,” Donghyuck scoffs. “His beautiful, wonderful self is enough.”

He slides over to the stovetop to check on the food, which smells delicious. It feels particularly _adult_ to host a dinner party for their friends with a home cooked meal. He even made an appetizer. It’s in honor of their last evening together before everyone heads home for winter break. 

Mark pokes at the simmering vegetables. “I’m so excited for this.” 

“Good,” Donghyuck says, wrapping his arms around Mark’s waist and digging his chin into Mark’s shoulder. “I’m gonna miss you over break though.”

“Yeah, it’s gonna suck,” Mark says sullenly. 

“Are you excited to see your parents?”

He feels Mark tense in his arms. “I guess. You know how they are.” 

Donghyuck gives Mark a squeeze. Mark had confessed that his parents didn’t understand why he had chosen a major in Physics, which has a less obvious career path than something like pre-med. Being both doctors, they had expected Mark to follow in their footsteps.

“Maybe you could show them some of your research. It would help them understand how much you care about physics, and that there’s a whole world of academia for you to thrive in,” Donghyuck reasons.

“They just have a very narrow understanding of success.” 

“You are gonna be so successful,” Donghyuck refutes. 

Mark laughs in embarrassment. “Thanks.”

“We’re gonna be such a power couple. You’re gonna publish amazing papers and I’m gonna become a famous music theorist. You’ll see,” Donghyuck continues adamantly. 

“I want that,” Mark says, still laughing, “all of it.” 

“Ten years from now, we’re gonna look back at this conversation and you’re gonna be like _dang Hyuck was right!_ ”

“Okay, deal.”

Donghyuck leans forward to press a quick, firm kiss against Mark’s lips, sealing the deal. “I love you,” he says, pulling away. 

“I love you too,” Mark says, just as the doorbell rings, friends loud and excited right outside. Donghyuck keeps his wide grin on his face as he opens the door, chest warm and buzzing, Mark by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> so!!! this fic is dedicated to all my lgbtq+ nctzens (including myself lmao). it was very self-indulgent in terms of exploring internalized homophobia and complicated feelings about sex tbh. if anyone reading this has struggled with these things consider this my love letter to you <3 bc i feel u <3 and i love u <3 
> 
> shout out to toni for reading this over and also for emotional support!!! <3 
> 
> feel free to reach me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/_bluedesert_), or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/_bluedesert_)


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